Confessions

The vibration in my lap from the text messages seemed to have intensified as if my iPhone had taken direct orders from him to nullify my already erect hormones. I read the message which directed me to the nearest exit that would lead me to Largo rd., Route 202 right off the interstate. Luckily, having just dropped off Vanessa at my moms house in Largo to retrieve her car, I was able to stall for time to ponder the decision of what would be my next move. You would think having a 3ct, flawless, princess cut diamond ring on my left finger would be a no-brainer to take my ass home to the man that awaits me. However, a simple "girls night out" turned into a game of cat and mouse over shots of Patron. As a result, there was something more intriguing on my mind and for whatever reason I was seeking to satisfy at least some of my curiosity.

I scrolled through the text messages that I had traded throughout the night with this new found "curiosity" before finally deciding to put the car in drive and making my way to my next destination. I made a left on Campus Way, pulled into the Exxon gas station, and backed my car into the parking space beside the already parked, black tinted-out Escalade. I took a deep breath, got out of my car and attempted to pull down the bottom of the tiny black satin dress over my 42-inch protruding hips. With a 26-inch waistline leading up to hips like that it was difficult NOT to notice that something, rather someone, was doing this body good. I slid into the passenger seat where I was greeted with a hug and kiss placed gently on my forehead. The soft caress of his lips against my skin was almost enough to make me melt right there, but I pulled away in an attempt to maintain some control.

We briefly conversed about our last encounter of innocence which occurred prior to the state-side return of what soon became my fiance. That same innocence soon perished as he grabbed me by the back of my neck and kissed me passionately. At that very moment any quarrel between right and wrong that had resounded in my mind immediately subsided as I embraced his lips with mine. I could feel his fingers running gently across my upper thigh as his hand made its way up my dress. He continued to move his hand up slowly until he was met by the warm moisture which ran in between my thighs. He abruptly pulled his hand from under my dress and backed away with a stunning expression. Dazed and confused by his sudden retreat, I watched him open his door, hop out of the truck and walk around to my side of the vehicle. He opened up the passenger side door and in one swift motion he grabbed me by my thighs and pulled me towards him. The forceful slide across the leather seat sent my dress up around my waist immediately exposing my "Victoria's secret-LESS" lower posterior.

With his left hand he pulled my left leg over his shoulder as he forced my upper body back against the console with his right. There was no reaction time for any resistance as I inhaled deeply at the feeling of his mouth against my ______. My _____began to pulsate with every stroke of his tongue fondling my cl__ upon every motion. At 4am, getting caught was the last thing that was on my mind as I closed my eyes and relaxed my neck allowing my long flowing hair to fall on my back. That of course was until the glare of headlights broke me out of my trance when a car came creeping slowly into the gas station. I opened my eyes and couldn't believe what I saw. "SHYT!!"
...to be continued


-Lusty

Ladies, when your man throws you the deuces, you throw it right back Ciara style! Ciara - Deuces (remix) from her Basic Instinct mixtape!

I thought this was too cute! Amazing Talent...check it out! Keri Hilson - Pretty Girl Rock (Beatboxing & Piano Cover)

Supporting our DMV Artists check out Dougie FITO's No Hands (DMV REPPIN)

"Single Ladies"

If someone were to ask me what would be my biggest fear in life first nature would default to saying God, but after extensive thought I would have to say the fear of having a daughter who didn’t understand her self-worth. It’s one thing to know, which means to be aware, but to fully interpret and grasp the idea is to actually understand. I look at the multitude of females around me who often claim to know their self-worth but their actions within their romantic relationships reveal that they don’t particularly understand. We are often molded into the idea that having a Boyfriend/husband is a sign of “completion” or “stability” but isn’t this a sense of false hope? Having a man surely doesn’t validate you as a woman and certainly gives you no more integrity than the next nor does it make you anymore superior than those that do not, so where is the completion? It makes no matter of sense yet the reality still remains that women, more often than not, devote more time to finding “that man” who they believe validates them as a woman. Don’t get me wrong being in love with someone is a wonderful thing. However, being in love with someone doesn’t make you any more beautiful, any smarter, or any more considerable than the next. Love is inside out and in order to give true love you have to learn to love yourself first and learning to love yourself is being comfortable with just that...YOURSELF! Having the ability to stand up for yourself and demanding the same effort and respect that you exude is the true understanding of self-worth which should reflect through your actions. Life is great…live it, love it, and laugh throughout it!

-Lusty

"Hypocrites always play innocent"

I find it quite interesting yet entertaining when I see the rants and raves posted on social networks by males currently on the “dating scene.” The multitude of hypocrisy hidden behind double standards never ceases to amaze me as I think about the years of BS, we as women, have been subjected to. Can I speak candid for a minute? Ok, cool…

What the Fck is up with dudes posting all this shyt about ain’t no “good women” out here and blah, blah, blah. Umm, excuse me sir the last time I checked the statistics, we were collectively doing better than yal….I’ll wait while you google that…{waiting}

For years women have been subjected to the double standards of dating men that choose to engage themselves in multiple relationships at once—not to mention the surplus of highlighted infidelity of men we’ve been attuned to in the media. So now that women have FINALLY smartened up and turned the tables playing the same game you’ve been playing for yrs but smarter and better you wanna complain? Come on B, pull your skirt down, this ain’t the 1950s and all that submissive entitlement is a mere fantasy. You have so much to say if a female chooses to date multiple men, even if she’s not in a relationship, but last time I checked that is what dating is about, am I right? Last I checked, dating didn’t automatically equal “commitment” and until then you have the liberties to date as many people as you so choose to. Guys have been doing this for years and now that we’ve switched the script we are “hoes” and other such choice names? Just because you’re dating more than one man does NOT mean you’re physical with all of them and if you are it’s at your own discretion so long as you’re honest. {PROTECT YOURSELF, PROTECT YOURSELF, PROTECT YOURSELF}

So what’s the real problem guys, can’t take a little competition? If not get on your game and we as females wouldn’t have to date five different men just to equal one GOOD one! In this world it’s the survival of the fittest, so either stand the fck up and beat on your chest or get the fck out of the jungle!
-Lusty

"Layaway Pu$$y"

It never ceases to amaze me how people become so comfortable in their relationships that they are willing to accept anything. With women it’s like that favorite pair of shoes that we have that are so freaking cute, yet comfortable and go with everything. We might go and buy a new pair of pumps, wear them a couple of times, but we always seem to reach right back into that closet and pull out that good ole favorite pair again. SMH…Shamefully we tend to do the same thing with men and our relationships. We get comfortable with that one person and invest so much into an often meaningless situation because it’s what we are used to. Although we might stray away in an attempt to break those chains of self-motivated entrapment, the minute things start to become uncomfortable we reach right back to that same destructive relationship.

As for the males role in this situation it’s interesting to see how selfish they really are in a “relationship.” The male will confess with his mouth that he is ready for a monogamous relationship yet his nefarious actions tell a different story. Nowadays this happens quite often in the dating world and even more in marriages. It’s what I like to call “Layaway Pu$$y” -- in which it's so good that the male will make a commitment to a female in an attempt to prevent any other guy from coming along and snatching her up. So in turn he does just enough to keep her comfortable in the relationship and she settles for it. Unfortunately, he’s not at the point where he’s actually ready to be faithful to one person so he continues to casually deal with other females on the side. Is that not like the layaway process? You see something you like in the store yet don’t have enough money for it or just don’t want to spend the money on it at the time, so you put it in layaway so no one else will buy it, pay just enough on it to keep it in there until you’re ready to purchase. Need I say more?????
-Lusty

Jump-Offs Ain't What They Used to Be

From 'Pump It Up' by Joe Budden
"My jump off doesn't run off at the mouth so much, My jump off never ask why I go out so much, My jump off never has me going out of my way, And she don't want nothing on Valentine’s Day, My jump off don't argue or get rebellious, And she don't mind hanging out wit da fellas, My jump offs not insecure or jealous…”

First it is important to get a grasp of what actually constitutes a “jump-off” and how one earns such a title. I figured I may humor myself a little by looking up the term on Urbandictionary.com, just to get a general consensus of what the majority would rule. To my surprise there were many different definitions with some varying in gender exclusivity and many quoting the infamous Joe Budden. For the sake of this blog I decided to utilize, in my opinion, the best definition which states—a jump-off is someone that you FCK on occasion that you have no ties to. (Usually, one or both involved are married). Don't put any feelings into a jump off because you walk into it knowing that you can't get anything from it but a good FCK! If you catch feelings, you will get hurt!!
So in essence to further simplify this definition, a jump-off can be easily classified as a casual sex-partner. So what’s so wrong with having a jump-off? Or, what’s so wrong with being a jump-off? Most of us have had at least that one we engaged a time or two without any committal ties, right? Ha, Ha… For so very long the term jump-off has received its fair share of negative scrutiny when used as a means to label a female. Yet in today’s era with the evolution of social tolerance it seems as though in terms of defining a jump-off the negative conceptualization has seemed to slightly diminish. Nowadays sadly enough it almost seems as though the jump-off comes off better than the “main chick.” Jump-offs know their role with no expectations nor obligation to their counterpart whereas; the main chick has to deal with the cheating boyfriend and all that comes with it. The jump-off gets honest conversation while the main-chick receives a host of lies of where he’s been and what he’s been doing. There is no exclusivity yet there is underlining respect for the opposite party--just like any other game played, there are rules to this shyt and its important to play your role.

Joe Budden’s interpretation of a jump-off makes for an ideal situation but realistically how long does that last? The more you and your jump-off engage one another the more feelings become involved as a result of simple human psychology. We as humans are automatically drawn to the things that we have considerable interest in. So naturally at least one of the two people engrossed in this situation is going to develop a stronger liking towards the other. So at that point what do you do? Do you continue to play your position and suppress those feelings? Do you take the 50/50 risk of potentially ruining your situation by having that conversation of “what are we?” Or, do you attempt to cut off all contact with that person? Let’s be real for a moment, based on the definition used for this blog, a jump-off is NOT just someone you’ve randomly cheated on your mate/spouse with. It’s obviously something that you found in that person that you’re immensely attracted to that in turn leads to an emotional connection which constitutes the reason you keep going back repeatedly. And although you both walked into a situation with no expectations of gaining anything from it your continual encounters will eventually emerge into something greater. Now what that “something greater” ends up being is a mystery and it’s plausible that the mistress may one day end up being the MRS. So the moral of this story my friends is, remember Jump-offs ain’t what they used to be.
-Lusty

One Night Stand

Our encounters are far from ordinary, more of a rendition of submitting to the lust assumed by both parties. Whether or not I’m willing to admit my equally shared emotion of anxiousness, my acceptance to his invitation tells a different story. Simple text messaging lead to “sexting” as we traded phrases back and forth, offering up a taste for a touch like a game of “Go Fish.” After two years of an ongoing game of cat and mouse it seems as though the alpha male would finally come to dominate his prey. Now more willing than ever to submit to the desires of my sexual temptation, I am met by the soft touch of the hands working their way up my dress. Raising the dress up over my head, it’s swiftly removed from my body as I then stood before him in plain view. He admired my body in all of its perfectly portioned divines with its perky breast, small waist line, wide hips, and thick thighs. It was only right that I turned to the side to give him a full view of the curve that makes its way down my spine before meeting the rotund azz that follows. His kisses were softly placed all over my body before he laid me down on the bed to make his way below my navel. Slow Strokes followed by deep penetration with just enough pain to equal pleasure consumed me as I let out soft and subtle moans. If the occupants of the rooms next door didn't know his name before, they definitely would know after this night. I shifted my hips and made sure to move my lower body countering his every motion. I softly whispered for him to turn me over and hit it from the back and with no hesitation he obliged to my command. As I lay flat on my stomach he gripped my azz and eased his way in. Yet obliviously not wanting to near completion he suddenly stopped himself and pulled back to regain his composure. He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me to my knees, and gently ran his fingers down my back. I slowly began taking control as I forced him to move to the rhythm of my own beat. It was show-time and the performance I put on was more than award winning. We continued over the next 45 minutes before finally reaching the climax of our sinful allurement. Casual conversation followed as we gathered clothes scattered throughout the room to dress before departing back to our separate lives. No texts, no calls, no communication at all...just a plain and simple goodbye.

-Lust

The infamous Kat Stacks....

I’m sure by now we have all been attuned to the latest Youtube video put out by Hip Hop’s infamous BFF Kat Stacks featuring our beloved self-dubbed “Golden Goose” -- Soulja Boy. The video is nothing outside of what we haven’t already seen from media’s current favorite, opportunistic stripper turned “ultimate groupie,” where she exposes her latest sexual encounter with one of the rap game’s featured artist. The interesting twist on this video is her reference to Soulja Boy’s assumed coke habit as she actually records an image of a white “substance” neatly lined up on a dresser in the room she is sharing with our “Golden Goose” on her cell phone. Now the speculation of whether it is ACTUALLY coke or even whether it is actually his, as this was filmed while he was in the shower without his knowledge, is still in question. Hey, we are ALL innocent until PROVEN guilty, right? LOL!

At any event Kat Stacks although catching heat from other rap artist speaking out in Soulja boy’s defense, stands her ground behind her allegations and even takes us a step further by informing Twitter that we should “look out for (her) pregnancy test.” Are we surprised by any of this? Is it anything that Kat Stacks has done over the past couple of months that is any different from what we’ve seen over the past decades? Let’s not forget about our first “Video Vixen” who comprised a book divulging her accounts with multiple artists, actors, and athletes that we were so compelled to be privy to that we made it a “Best Seller.” Or better yet the abundant amount of “Groupie Tales” posted all over the internet by anonymous women who rate their sexual encounters and give us play by play recounts of events taken place during their one night stands with our “completely angelic” entertainers. The only difference between them and Kat Stacks is they speak under anonymity and she is upfront and provides us with video proof of her encounters.

Personally, I’m not a fan of exploiting myself for capital gain by publishing my bedroom rendezvous through syndicated networks and stores. Yet Kat Stacks has publicly admitted to not only being a stripper but also formerly having a “pimp” so this behavior is by means no surprise. On the other hand, although enjoying what she does now, Kat Stacks is only 20yrs old and I do firmly believe that when her 15 minutes is over and the curtains are drawn she will have some regrets. I’ll make sure to keep a look out for her episode of “Life After.”

Understand I don’t condone the fact that some women willingly choose to share with the world their sexcapades. However, I’m not completely cynical to the fact that some women are choosing to do so. MEN DO IT ALL THE TIME! It’s called “kiss and tell” and trust me ladies you have all been talked about and rated for your sex game at least once at some point. Ok so Soulja Boy probably told 1 person and Kat Stacks chose to tell 1 million, lol, umm should we feel sorry for him and start bashing her? I don’t think so. He was well aware of what she is about and if it weren’t for our overly sexed society even giving it this much attn there would be no “Superheads” or “Kat Stacks.” I’m sure when Kat Stacks finally reveals this book she has been raving about it will be the next best-seller because we Americans love our smut just as much as we love our Internet. So until then I take my hat off to her publicist and I give my condolences to Soulja Boy’s PR team.
-Lusty

A Slave of this World!

We are shadows of the systematic cultural stringencies of societal coercion. We mimic the behavior which proceeds each generation like a family curse crippling each member it embodies. We can never right the wrong passed down through the bloodlines of our ancestors and because of it we will forever be enslaved to that of the world. Instead we live to conform the best way we know how—surrendering to the acquisition of tangible goods as a means to define what is viewed as “success.” Caught in a battle of defining who you are vs who you appear to be are the daily struggles concealed behind avatars created in virtual space. Attempting to ingratiate yourself into groups where acceptance serves as validation you are a lost soul. We are underdeveloped yet overexposed through mainstream applications of syndicated media networks which exploit out social vulnerabilities. We are chained by the very things we choose to indulge yet ignorant to the very things that surround us. Social networks interconnect our lives closing the wedge of distance between communications yet ironically destroy relationships simultaneously. However, losing the one you love often sets precedence to finding that very person you are slated to be. Are you really a visionary or a parole’ of societal parliamentary? If so, strip yourself of your covetous actions and set out to be that unconventional dreamer you claim to be.
-Lusty

Random Thoughts of a Lusty Mind...

Long nights, rough mornings, empty sheets next to me. Despair besets me as the loneliness of a lost spirit fills my soul. Moving on seems like such a difficult task of love lost in the mist of mistrust and deceit. Yet a time-traveling heart is a weak prey already sought after by its predator. Lies become synonymous with truth and truth is now void through evolution. Love is a weak emotion fueled by thoughts catering to the fantasy of a vicarious persona. Who are we and why has purpose driven me in the direction of entrapment dazed by the confusion of past experiences? Dreams they say, ahhh, the past experiences of a reincarnated life drowned in the Karma of the lessons left to unfold. Aching hearts reveal truth beyond defense mechanisms guarding the prideful queen of hearts ducking behind the spade looking to cut so deep wounds bleed words. It speaks! But there's no understanding because the chains of the world silence the anomalies. The right of a first amendment has a caveat of the expectation to be judged by a collective agreement of written rules slated as normal. We shall never overcome and instead we shall develop the ability to submit. Who are you? You have no identity lost in the acceptance in which you seek and the wretchedness funneled by that sole desire. My submission of my past to the world is to direct my path to freedom of my heart’s soul slain not long ago. It speaks…
-Lusty

ARE YOU A DABBLER???

George Leonard says in love relationships the Dabbler specializes in honeymoons. He revels in seduction and surrender, the telling of life stories, the display of love’s tricks and trappings: the ego on parade. When the initial ardor starts to cool, he starts looking around. To stay on the path of mastery would mean changing himself. How much easier it is to jump into another bed and start the process all over again. The Dabbler might think of himself as an adventurer, a connoisseur of novelty, but he’s probably closer to being what Carl Jung calls the puer aeternus, the eternal KID. Though partners change, he or she stays just the same.

Quote of the Week

"Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness."
-Desiderata

My Musical Mood this week!

The Mistress

Today for the first time in a while I felt like I actually had the upper hand in this tangled web of a relationship that I’m all caught up in. I rolled the dice of life, plucked my “chance-card” and it revealed to me a choice. It gave the option to collect my $200 dollars and pass “GO” without looking back on regrets or the option to place my house firmly on the yellow pavement of “Marven Gardens.” Unfortunately, I’m still no owner of this property and although I’m able to strategically set up house there, I’m just the mortgagor borrowing this piece of property for the duration of the game. It still seems to baffle me how easily my love life can be paralleled to a game of Monopoly.

Gucci bags, Loui shoes, Vicki Sets, and other lavish gifts are a common accent to this lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed to. He takes care of me and makes sure I have the latest and the greatest. Private Chefs on Sundays just to say we had a home cooked meal are the bear minimums of the things provided. Five star hotels become a necessity while a wedding ring when we’re away on trips becomes his nonexistent accessory. He constantly looks me in my eyes and tells me “So long as you’re here you can have anything you want.” Yet somehow those words seem so foreign to me as I revert back to my monopolized life where although he pays me every time he lands on Marven Gardens, I had to pay “HER” for this slot. She is the owner of this property and as easily as it is for him to pay a monetary restitution for his part played in all of this, I was forced to pay with my heart and my feelings. I’m forced to give those up because despite the fact that he tells me that I am his “wifey” while he’s with me, I have to remember that she is the one who wears the diamond ring while I was forced to settle on a diamond bracelet.

So those words “You can have anything you want” become null and void to me because what I really want is what has already been given to someone else. My life consists of trips and gifts with occasional visits in passing while hers is adorned with your presence every night. Should I feel bad for her if she already knows about me yet still continues to stay? Or better yet, why can’t she feel sorry for me because I’m the one left to make a decision of whether or not to keep playing house with additions to the household?

Love-child is such an awkward title and it’s probably more deserving of the label lust-child which is a better description of its conception. So here is my choice card all bundled-up inside of me like a brief case waiting to be opened on Deal or No Deal. He lays my options before me like a negotiator in a bank heist. I can have whatever I like of course has now turned into “I’m not leaving my wife.” Those few words spoken out of his mouth are enough to make me have this baby standing right here. So let me get this straight, my baby becomes a monthly “household bill” that’s written off at the end of the year? Oh and I guess birthdays and holidays are special occasions where you show up and play daddy for a day?

Although hurt, I can’t be mad because in my selfishness I contributed just as much to this infidelity as he did. I am the mistress, which broken down can only be attributed to (Mi-Stress). Yes, my stress that I caused on myself for an escalation in revenue.Had I looked beyond the glitz and glamour of my enhanced lifestyle maybe I would have been able to see the signs that were given. I would’ve been able to comprehend that what once started out as a game of Monopoly where capital is key had overtime distorted to a thin reality. That reality is in the confession of truth and the truth about it all is--no matter how much money is given, the mistress will soon one day want to be called the Mrs.

-Lusty

Friends WITHOUT Benefits???

Last week I was thoroughly entertained by the conversation which took place on the status of one of my FB friends. The question posed to FB was “How do you feel about your partner being best friends with an ex partner? It doesn’t matter if it was last year or five years ago, are you still cool with them being friends?”
With over 100 comments let’s just say this topic may have hit a couple of nerves. It even got to the point where folks were being labeled as “jump-offs” and “side-joints.” So here is what I have to say about it…
First and foremost, I DO believe that time plays somewhat of a significant factor in this situation, so already I see flaws in the question. The reason why I believe it matters is because I am NOT the same person at 26 that I was when I was 16. At 16, I was an adolescent still in the process of learning myself while trying to grasp onto the facts of life. My relationship at 16 which lasted until I was 18, didn’t resonate the same effects on me like those relationships that took/take place in my life now that I am a woman. I am more than certain that you are not the same person that you were as an adolescent now that you have reached adulthood.( Although people may still act immature in some ways never wanting to grow up it kind of reveals that catch 22 cliche’ if you will.) My point being is what was once intriguing to you 10yrs ago as an adolescent more than likely is not equally as intriguing to you as an adult. So me being friends with an ex from high school is probably the least of my man’s worries. (this brings me to an interesting question: What relationships “count?” but we’ll discuss that later)
As I always say everything is situational and it’s all in the way you present and/or address the situation. So if you’ve dated someone back in HS but now you are friends but they feel the need to come “side-ways” at your partner then that friendship needs to be reevaluated. It’s important to be mindful that everyone doesn’t always have the same intentions as you, and your genuinely expressed friendship isn’t always mirrored by that so-called BFF. Just like it is often reiterated to females that guys are always willing to take it to the next level despite a platonic friendship-- they are just waiting for the opportunity. Well NEWSFLASH people that’s humanistic nature and females do the same but it’s up to you to divert, diffuse, or dismiss the situation altogether. I don’t mind my man having a female best friend so long as she knows her place as a girl friend and not the girlfriend. However, once again it’s up to my partner to address the situation accordingly and if I made a commitment to him then that says I trust him enough to do so. Now if I see that it is not being properly handled than in that particular situation I may say I don’t trust this whole idea of “we’re just friends” and be up out!
It all goes back to the trust factor, if you can’t trust your partner enough to have a friendly relationship with someone that they’ve been with in the past then in essence you don’t trust them at all. On the other hand your partner should respect your relationship enough not to push the envelope to the point where it makes you uncomfortable. Late night calls are a…NO, random pop up visits are…Obsolete, and buying expensive gifts are…inappropriate. It’s a give and take relationship and all parties must know their role and play their position.

-Lusty

Musical Mood this week- Jay-Z Soon You'll Understand

Quote of the day

A wise man told me don't argue with fools
Cause people from a distance can't tell who is who
So stop with that childish shyt, ni**a I'm grown
Please leave it alone - don't throw rocks at the throne
Do not bark up that tree, that tree will fall on you
I don't know why your advisers ain't forewarn you.
-Jay Z

My Musical Mood This Week

"Let me tell you what I HEARD"

I don’t know what upsets me more, people who maliciously lie on others for personal gain or the “ignorant” who accept it as truth before first exploring the facts. Either way I despise liars and condemn the fools who partake in the slanderous gossip. This is nothing new to my life and I am more than familiar with the green eyes of the less desirable and trust me that green is NOT from eating vegetables as E. Badu would say. Nonetheless, through the years as I matured I was under the impression that such foolery would subside. On the contrary, to my surprise as I got older the only thing that seemed to mature was the extent of the foolishness. The irony of it all is the fact that when people repeat lies or spread gossip it’s always prefaced with one of two disclaimers……YOU KNOW IT THE INFAMOUS... “I HEARD…” or “Such and such (<-insert random name) said…”

Out of all my years in existence I have NEVER been approached with someone saying “I saw you….” People are always talking about what they’ve “heard”--so tell me, is this the new found validation of fact? Do you have to hear it from another person for it to be a fact of truth? If that’s the case if I walk into the woods and I see a tree split from its roots laying over on its side, but no one was around to hear it fall, am I inclined to believe that this tree in fact never fell at all? (HaHa! Let me slow down I’m giving yal too much to think about)

How about you start going straight to the source and just ask because if you pay attention the TRUTH in the LIES will be glaring. When you think about it, funny thing is no one ever wants to be held accountable for what they’ve said and always defaults to “don’t tell him/her I told you this but…” I believe if you come to me with a so-called “fact” I should be able to quote you on that, right? #Imjustsaying LOL!
-Lusty

“spend a whole day "he" hangin round with part time haters
all they do is diss dirt and put a up on my latest
itinerary, but since I tend to vary see
I tend to carry, more rumors than ten Mariah Careys” -Hov

Musical Mood This week

The Realist Shyt I Ever Wrote

This is the second night that the Grim Reaper of death has paid me a daunting visit. The old folks used to say "all disheartening things come in threes" so I guess the next time he appears will be the night I take my last breath. It was different this time though, unlike the first time where I was haunted with visions of all the loved ones I've ever lost. Although as equally uncomfortable, my body was calm--no shakes, no shivers just an impassive spirit waiting for what was next. I knew why he was there and as I stared into the eyes of death I could see my past was finding its way into my present.

Still unshaken by the presence of death which stood before me, the flashbacks which traveled through my mind surfaced that very same lost soul that was searching for love and acceptance. Thinking back on the road I chose to riches, chasing name brands, sitting court side, poppin bottles with the elite, and riding high never passenger side cuz in the Maybach you always hide behind the curtains of the backseat. I followed the brick road, but this ain't no movie and the brick road ain't yellow and when dealing with these white bricks a brain, heart and courage is nothing you can just acquire along the way.

In this game you're either a seller or a buyer...runner or supplier, and the only float you have is the product of your own environment. I was the seller and I sold my soul for a round trip ticket, MGM night, Grand fight, and 20 stacks just to sit across from the Boss. I was a gift...with undeniable beauty he confidently slid me the keys knowing riding high across state lines with a “Loui V” duffel would be carried with ease. But nervousness set in as I looked into the eyes of the innocent, naive to the part she had just played in all of this. But like I said this ain't no movie so instead of a character she's now the "accessory"--a subordinate or supplementary part, object, used mainly for convenience, attractiveness, and safety. What more can I say for myself when I'm just making selfish moves in my quest to eat? Confused, knowing in the back of my mind this is wrong there's no forgiveness in this shyt, no repenting, just move swift or retreat.

My conscious was fcking with me and although the “allure of the game kept calling my name” I knew it was only a matter of time before my struggle between right and wrong would detonate. The reality of the situation was I was ready to finally live a normal life free of all the notoriety and crowned street glory. I thought if I settled down it would bring some peace and serenity to my life, so I went with what I knew best and traveled back to love. Never taking the time to think twice about why love was lost in the first place I took 6Gs grabbed love and traveled on a trip overseas with the same love that would one day marry me. It was on that very trip where I found that not only was love lost but love was never there at all. “The same things that will make you laugh will make you cry and the same things that will make you tell the truth will be the same things that will make you tell a lie.” Such is luck and that's life and since they say life's a bytch, I never stood a chance in the first place.

This ain't no life to live, surrounded by the fake and fraudulent serpents disguised as friends, kick stand rolling straight through shooters, shooting Patron shots while side fckin your man. I have nothing else in this world but the solitude brought to me when I sold my soul for dough. So in essence I am already dead and my golden bronze shell is a soulless cover to an empty spirit. They say "some things money can't buy, like heaven in the sky" so I said to the grim reaper who stood before...take me now, I'm ready to die.

-Lusty (sneak preview)

*Blank Stare* Comment of the Day!

So I'm walking down the street and this guy stops me and says this...

Random Guy: "Damn girl are you ovulating, because I know we would have a pretty baby."

Me: *Blank Stare*

Musical Mood this week! "who goin say something?" LOL!

"I'll trade you my happiness for a white Range Rover and a Gucci Bag"

A couple of days ago I was having a discussion with my girlfriends about the highly controversial show “Basketball Wives.” I sat back for a while and allowed the flow of the conversation to take its course attentively listening to everyone’s critiques and criticism of what they had viewed on the show. The conversation carried on for about 20 minutes as they bashed these women about how they are “so stupid” and “they’re not even wives” and “they’re all just gold diggers.” Unmoved by any of the things being stated I sat quietly until one particular comment was voiced…”I mean they are professional basketball players do they really expect for them to be faithful?”

That one statement alone sent me over the top as I thought about how society has brain-washed everyone into thinking that because you hold a certain status or title you are exempt from being a conscientious person who reaps the adverse circumstances of careless decisions. So let me get this straight, because you play a professional sport this means you get a pass from God which states you don’t have to be faithful, regardless of the fact that you took an oath in your marital vows stating that you would in fact be faithful and “forsake all others?” That’s the biggest bunch of foolery I’ve ever heard in my life!

So I asked my friend, hypothetically, “Why should I expect for my husband to cheat on me just because he plays ball?” Her response was “Because he has a lot of money, travels a lot, and basically can have any woman he wants.” Well in that case if he can have any woman he wants and he chose me, would’t that translate into me being equally capable of having any man I want? So why is it that I’m EXPECTED to hold true to my vows but he’s not? This question continues to baffles me as I notice how society accepts the infidelity of men solely based on status and capital. If that is the case then we might as well throw CEOs, politicians, all entertainers, producers, overseas contractors, investors, and successful business owners on the “fidelity exemption list” as well.

Do I believe that gold diggers exist? Yes. Do I believe that all females that date athletes are gold diggers? No. Although having a slightly biased opinion based on the fact that living in the DMV and meeting a professional athlete is just like meeting the local hood-rich “dope boy”—just go to the club—I’m not convinced that ALL women that date professional athletes are gold diggers. However, just as we are all human whether man or woman, once you are introduced into a certain “higher class” lifestyle it’s hard to break free from it. This is what I see in Jennifer (the only one on the show that is still married) who claims that she has had constant issues with her husband’s infidelity. In my eyes that is a for sure deal breaker! I don’t care how good the “good-life” is, if you can’t respect me and our marriage enough to exemplify some self-control then I am OUT! Staying in a situation where you KNOW your husband is not being monogamous only adds to risk you’re putting yourself at. Sometimes you have to decide what’s more important to you—happiness and peace of mind or a white Range Rover and Gucci purse.
-Lusty

The Fellaz present "The All White Experience

Summer is FINALLY here and what a better way to kick off the summer than to attend the highly anticipated summer event hosted by The Fellaz? This year The Fellaz are stepping it up from their usual star-studded cookout/pool party by bringing us an all-white affair hosted by the DMV's own DJ QuickSilva. Trust me, just like any other event The Fellaz host, this will be one that you won't want to miss! "The All White Experience" goes down on Saturday, June 19, 2010 from 10pm-3am, please contact one of the fellaz for ticket purchases. See ya there!

Rick Ross ft. Ne-Yo - Super High- Lusty's Pick for summer hit

Quote of the day....

"On the level of personal experience, all of life is seamless, despite society's untiring efforts to break it up into compartments. The way we walk, talk to our children, and make love bears a significant relationship to the way we ski, study for a profession, or do our jobs. It's truly bizarre, when you stop to think about it, that we are sometimes quite willing to give full attention to developing our tennis game while leaving such "commonplace" things as relationships largely to chance. The truth of the matter is that if you have to work at a sport to achieve mastery, you also have to work, and generally work even more diligently, to achieve mastery in relationships. In both, there will be ups and downs and long periods on the plateau." -George Leonard

Keyshia Cole --- You've Changed <~My new musical mood this week LOL!

"I'm Straaaaaight"

Ok, so a while back while I was in college I used to date this older guy and we had a fairly good relationship—but because he was older and he bought me things I started to feel like a dependent. Now because I’ve always had my own and for the most part been an independent woman I had the worst nonchalant “I don’t need you” type of attitude. Oh, but how the tables do turn when you can’t learn to just STFU sometimes! LOL!

Okay, so no shyt there I was in a heated argument with my boyfriend (well I was pretty much arguing with myself) and I am going “HAM” on him! During this time I was the type of person who wouldn’t think before they would speak and my momma always told me that would get me in trouble one day. Nonetheless, I’m still going off on him like he is a stranger on the street that just stole my parking space knowing they saw my blinker (yal know how that is lol). Well in the mist of all of this head nodding, and loud-talking-- I shout out “I don’t need you for anything, I’m straight!” (I’m straaaaaaight *in my T.I. voice*)

He’s just standing there watching me rant and rave not saying a word which was making me even more pissed off (insert song here: I’m goin need you to say something baby *in my Drake voice*). Infuriated with his lack of emotion, I storm out the house in my new all black Steve Madden Stiletto boots (Those were some baaaad boots too honey). But as soon as I stepped onto the porch HOOOOONEEEYYY, I took flight and “down goes Frazier!” My tail personally greeted every step on that porch before finally sliding into “home base” which was the pavement. You see at the time this was in 2003, during that bad snow storm we had in the DMV where everything was shut down for like a week—so it had just started snowing but it was coming down pretty heavy. I turned and looked up at the door and this fool is standing there with a smirk on his face and says “See God don’t like ugly” right before he closes the door. (If my ankle wasn’t hurting so bad I probably would’ve kicked that mofo down!)

I get up, grab what’s left of my pride, and hobble my little self to my car and pull off. Honey, 16 minutes down the road, I’m on the ramp to get onto the beltway and BOOM!!!!! I hit a pothole so big I thought Osama was coming to get me-- my tire immediately went flat! Great first I was “gang raped” by some steps and now I got a flat tire on the side of the beltway in a snow storm. I called my roadside assistance and they said “ma’am because of the storm your wait time will be 4hrs”—what the!?!? I called my peoples and no one was anywhere to be found. I sat there for 45 minutes before I picked up the phone and called him (pride is a muthaf*cka ain’t it?). So of course my dude comes to my rescue and then takes me to the hospital to get my sprained ankle fixed and, just because God wanted to teach me a lesson I ended getting snowed-in at his house for 3 days barely able to walk. So naturally he reminded me every chance he got that I “don’t need him for anything because I’m straight.” LMAO! I tell you crazy stuff like that only happens to me!! If only I can learn to just STFU!

ASK LUSTY!

So, someone thought that I was insightful enough to ask me a question about their relationship. LOL! I deleted his name to protect his identity, as I do not seek to "put people out there." Below is his question to me and then my response.


XXXXXX March 4 at 11:59am

I have a question for you missy????

If you’re in a relationship and you love the dude you’re with and over all are happy, but you feel like you are losing yourself??? How would you diagnose that?



Lusty DonDiva March 4 at 12:58pm

You gotta stop and ask yourself am I really "loosing myself" or am I just growing out of my old ways. It's evident that the only thing that is constant is the evolution of time. So, with that being stated it's only natural that you won't be encompassed with the same friends, motives and operations as you were 5yrs ago. That's perfectly fine. It's also perfectly fine to "CONFORM" to a relationship. I would only hope that you don't act the same way that you did when you were single now that you're in a relationship. So as long as you're happy and it works for YOU then it might have been the best thing for you to start "losing yourself." Now on the other hand if you feel uncomfortable with your situation and you feel like you are just living out the daily actions of what your partner wants then that might not be the best place for you. If you're really in fact "happy" and the situation is a healthy relationship for you then nothing else would even matter. A good relationship thrives off the acceptance of one’s flaws, loving the imperfections and allowing one to be whoever they are. :-)

-Lusty

"OMG It's sooo BIG!!"

Ok, So if you know anything about me, you know the most RANDOM and Awkward things ALWAYS happen to me. This is something so embarrassing that happened to me at work...

No shyt there I was, sitting at my desk working diligently when I got an instant message from my "work spouse" ::PAUSE:: (For clarification, my work spouse is just a friend that started working the same day I did. We always go to lunch together and we look out for each other. However, despite what people may think there is NO romantic relationship between us, he just goes to get my work supplies...LOL) :::UnPause:: I get an instant message from him saying "FCK I spilled BBQ sauce on my khakis, it's in the crotch area and I have to greet clients in 1hr, do you have a Shout wipes?" So I reply "yes, I'll bring it up to you." So he replies "Meet in the back hallway by the elevators."

Now mind you "Work Spouse" is dating this chick here who doesn't like me because she swears something is going between us and rags on him ALLLLLLL the time about me. Well I mean rightfully so, I wouldn't trust my man around such a pretty girl like myself either!(insert cocky statement here) LOL! Just joking!

So anyway I'm walking down the back hall thinking to myself why would he want me to come back here. This is the hall where they escort all our "important clients" into the building so it's like nobody ever goes back there. I see him hiding behind this counter across from the elevator that is like waist level because I guess he doesn't want anyone to see his pants. Now if you KNOW me, you know that I am ALWAYS animated, LOUD, and dramatic so imagine how I react to this.....

I step around the counter, bend my head down, astonished by how big the stain is I say "OMG IT'S SOOO BIG!!!" Right as I say that the doors to the elevator open up and standing in the shaft are his clients escorted by the chick he is dating!!! He grabbed me by the arm swoops me up so fast that he dang on near broke my arm. I turned and looked towards the elevator and I am MORTIFIED! LMAO!!!!!!
Can we say aawwwwwkwaaaaard!
-Lusty

Jay-Z - Song Cry - My Musical Mood this week

SET YOUR PRIORITIES

Set your priorities. Before you can use your potential energy, you have to decide what you're going to do with it. And making any choice, you face a monstrous fact: to move in one direction, you must forgo all others. To choose one goal is to forsake a very large number of other possible goals. A friend of mine, twenty-nine and still looking for a cause, a purpose in life, said, "Our generation has been raised on the idea of keeping your options open. But if you keep all your options open, you can't do a damned thing." It's a problem: How can any one option, any one goal, match up to the possibilities contained in all others? -George Leonard

Contingency vs Consistency

A wise man once said "we spend our lives stretched on an iron rack of contingencies." As I sit back and ponder the message being conveyed I take the time to look at the people around me. Through my observation of those within my inner circle as well as those two steps out within the periphery of my life I am undoubtedly cognizant of the author's point of view.

The systematic teachings of society where we are taught that based on the laws of Physics for every action there is a reaction seems to confuse our basic instinct--or shall I say your intuition, if you will. So basically the way this works is if you go to school and you get good grades you'll grow to be the up-standing adult with a great job....right? Hmmm, if life were only that easy. Now by no means am I downplaying school--as a college graduate myself, I am highly supportive of education, and this is just a mere example one of the contingencies chained to our lives. Ironically, we treat our relationships in the same manner. We tend to make decisions that are contingent on the actions of our mate, FIRST, rather than just trusting our basic instinct. Just think, how many times have you said to yourself "depending on how this goes, this will determine whether we will still be together"...HaHa, I KNOW I HAVE!!! Or you say "well she did hold me down so I guess I kinda owe her."

These are only a couple of the contingencies we hold ourselves hostage to, when in fact subconsciously you've already decided in your head that you deserve better than what your mate is willing to give. It's wiser to trust your instinct and eliminate all the "if only" terms and conditions you've set into place. Rather than basing the fate of your relationship on contingencies focus more on the CONSISTENCY in your partner. Remember the only thing constant is the "essence of time" so if you have some to waste then by all means be my guest but just be mindful that time is something you can never get back. I often tell myself "the worst investment you can ever make is into people who don't appreciate the character of who you are." Stay true to yourself because in the end the option to be treated as "optional" contingent upon another is all yours!

-Lusty

Baby Bait

It's the year 2010, and one would think that the age-old "parent trap" method of keeping a mate would have subsided by now. However, unfortunately it hasn't and I don't know what upsets me more--the women who try to trap a dude by getting pregnant or the dudes that allow themselves to become entrapped into the situation. It baffles me that rather than just taking that extra 2 seconds to "strap-up" you much rather trade 18 years of situational distress, all in the name of 15 minutes of ecstasy. So lets address this on two levels...

Ladies, ladies, ladies when will you silly little rabbits learn that tricks are for kids and just because you have a kid doesn't mean you automatically have a man by default. I have friends who often say things like "I'm his baby mother and I will always be where home is"--I agree totally, you will always be HOME, with your child while he's out doing him. Although having a baby does change your life it doesn't change the "person", like Jay Z says "No matter where you go, you are what you are player and you can try to change, but that's just the top layer." The idea of having a "family" and always having some type of connection to this person seemed thrilling at the time but you forgot about the fact that there was a reason why you had to trap him in the first place. Ummm, could it be that he didn't really want to be with you? You thought it would make him stay home? Or better yet maybe it was putting the stamp on that "meal ticket." Whatever it was your desperation kicked in and now you have a baby by a man that is still the same man he was before the baby came. Now more than ever his true colors are glaring and poor little you there's nothing you can do. You, who once was the "trapper" have now turned into the "trappee" and now things really heat up.

Now my fellas, smh still unable to figure out the "woman" you are ignorant to the fact that you've been baited. Being a man thinking with the wrong head you forgot all about the talks that you've had about how you would "never leave your seed" or you forgot about how she praised you on how well you take care of your son. Trust and believe me when I tell you she didn't and she used one of the most irresistable forms of temptation to lead you right where she wanted you. So now instead of just wearing the latex you get the "I'm late" text. Feeling like you have no other options you try to make a home-life with this person whom you were never really interested in from the start. You're forced to try and make it work for the sake of your child but indirectly end up making it worse. You see you can only compromise your happiness but for so long before your body will naturally seek to satisfy it's quest for that divine right. So then it begins, you're staying out late, you start cheating, you seek to find that same happiness you felt in previous relationships you let go when all of this started. You can't build a happy home on an unhappy life and your child will soon realize that although mommy and daddy are both here they're not in the same place.

-Lusty

Proof BEFORE Purchase

Let me take you into the world of Lusty where anything is bound to happen...this is rather old but nonetheless interesting....

26/Aug/2009

Today I had dinner at McCormick and Schimdt with XXXXXXXX at the Nat'l Harbor. I'm not sure as to how I feel about the outcome of the conversation. There wasn't much expectation going into it so in turn, not much was taken from it. My opinion about it hasn't been swayed either way to say the least, in fact I'm even more confused now coming out of it than I was prior to me entering. So here is my assessment of it all...

Commitment is such a scary word to men when dealing with me. Their insecurity drives their thought process into a state of disbelief that a woman such as me can be faithful. He says it's because I'm "too popular" and I have "too many dudes" (male friends)....Ummm, newsflash sweetie, am I not single? Do I not have the same divine right of happiness? Since when did attractive=cheater and popular=untrustworthy? Ahh and so we enter the world of insecurity where your dreams become countered by threats of your mind playing tricks on you. Everyone wants a "bad chick" but not everyone can handle the notoriety of what comes with a "bad chick." Just because you're friends with a male does NOT/NOT mean you're fck'n, yet the pride of a man seems to always circumvent any truth in that statement. Men will avoid being "hurt" at all cost and protecting their "reputation" is equally as important, so the idea of feeling like their in competition with any other man is certainly out of the question.

I would like to think that as an adult while you're single that you have the liberty of having as many male friends as you so choose to have--but hey maybe I'm wrong. *shrugs* I especially take into consideration the fact that we as females almost always give some indication of the willingness to settle down and enter into a relationship. However, that doesn't seem to be good enough this day in time--guys want the fruit of the harvest before bearing the labor. They want a female to play "wifey" before she is crowned "wifey."

So now you are placed in a on-going game of "proof BEFORE purchase" where you're subconsciously forced to prove that you're "worthy" enough to be his lady. Yet already comfortable in his ways what reason does he have to change now? Why should he make you his girl when he doesn't have to? The ball is in his hands and he has home-court advantage because he's coerced you into going against your initial statement of "you can't have your cake and eat it too." Oh, but on the contrary he does have his cake and not only is he enjoying yours but he's also enjoying the cake of whomever else bakery he so chooses to eat from. Let's not forget there is NO commitment so "technically" there is no cheating involved. So now he's granted that protection of not looking like the "sucka" in front of his boys in the event that your name should come up in relation to another male--who still might ONLY be a platonic friend. Yet unfortunately, he still gets the satisfaction of being able to say you are his "joint" meaning off-limits, whenever it's convenient....of course.

-Lusty

Facebook Fakers

I'm back for a minute but trust I'll be gone again. Just too much BS from all these so-called "friends."

Too many fake pages, too many lies. This shyt is turning into Myspace which is something I despise.

I still do me though, in spite of it all. I guess that's why I get fake friend requests from these petty little broads.

They go all out thinking I'm easily fooled, but baby-girl do your research on me first cuz this is what I do.

I'm one step ahead of you, which means you're two steps back. No matter how many pages you create, you can't distort the facts.

The facts are the details, something you should pay close attention to. How every friend we got in common alum from Largo and your info say you didn't even go to that school?

Or better yet how you only got 20 friends, talkin bout you just got on-line. C'mon son even my momma got FB and this shyt ain't just get hot in 2009.

Ha-Ha, I gave you two hints so now you can start over and show improve. But you really fck'd up when u created a page with stolen pics from a dude I used to talk to!

Shame on you, you're a rookie at this, please stop while you're ahead. It's too easy for me to figure out who you are but the level of effort is not even in me so that's beyond dead.

Although flattered by your persistence I promise you I'm not that interesting. Ok so I got a little Louis, cop a little Gucci and got the boys going crazy over that thing.

Ha-Ha, I joke...I kid...just thought I'd give you a laugh. I'm sure you're the first person to even read this blog with your nosy stalking a$$!

-Lusty