Quote of the day....

"On the level of personal experience, all of life is seamless, despite society's untiring efforts to break it up into compartments. The way we walk, talk to our children, and make love bears a significant relationship to the way we ski, study for a profession, or do our jobs. It's truly bizarre, when you stop to think about it, that we are sometimes quite willing to give full attention to developing our tennis game while leaving such "commonplace" things as relationships largely to chance. The truth of the matter is that if you have to work at a sport to achieve mastery, you also have to work, and generally work even more diligently, to achieve mastery in relationships. In both, there will be ups and downs and long periods on the plateau." -George Leonard

Keyshia Cole --- You've Changed <~My new musical mood this week LOL!

"I'm Straaaaaight"

Ok, so a while back while I was in college I used to date this older guy and we had a fairly good relationship—but because he was older and he bought me things I started to feel like a dependent. Now because I’ve always had my own and for the most part been an independent woman I had the worst nonchalant “I don’t need you” type of attitude. Oh, but how the tables do turn when you can’t learn to just STFU sometimes! LOL!

Okay, so no shyt there I was in a heated argument with my boyfriend (well I was pretty much arguing with myself) and I am going “HAM” on him! During this time I was the type of person who wouldn’t think before they would speak and my momma always told me that would get me in trouble one day. Nonetheless, I’m still going off on him like he is a stranger on the street that just stole my parking space knowing they saw my blinker (yal know how that is lol). Well in the mist of all of this head nodding, and loud-talking-- I shout out “I don’t need you for anything, I’m straight!” (I’m straaaaaaight *in my T.I. voice*)

He’s just standing there watching me rant and rave not saying a word which was making me even more pissed off (insert song here: I’m goin need you to say something baby *in my Drake voice*). Infuriated with his lack of emotion, I storm out the house in my new all black Steve Madden Stiletto boots (Those were some baaaad boots too honey). But as soon as I stepped onto the porch HOOOOONEEEYYY, I took flight and “down goes Frazier!” My tail personally greeted every step on that porch before finally sliding into “home base” which was the pavement. You see at the time this was in 2003, during that bad snow storm we had in the DMV where everything was shut down for like a week—so it had just started snowing but it was coming down pretty heavy. I turned and looked up at the door and this fool is standing there with a smirk on his face and says “See God don’t like ugly” right before he closes the door. (If my ankle wasn’t hurting so bad I probably would’ve kicked that mofo down!)

I get up, grab what’s left of my pride, and hobble my little self to my car and pull off. Honey, 16 minutes down the road, I’m on the ramp to get onto the beltway and BOOM!!!!! I hit a pothole so big I thought Osama was coming to get me-- my tire immediately went flat! Great first I was “gang raped” by some steps and now I got a flat tire on the side of the beltway in a snow storm. I called my roadside assistance and they said “ma’am because of the storm your wait time will be 4hrs”—what the!?!? I called my peoples and no one was anywhere to be found. I sat there for 45 minutes before I picked up the phone and called him (pride is a muthaf*cka ain’t it?). So of course my dude comes to my rescue and then takes me to the hospital to get my sprained ankle fixed and, just because God wanted to teach me a lesson I ended getting snowed-in at his house for 3 days barely able to walk. So naturally he reminded me every chance he got that I “don’t need him for anything because I’m straight.” LMAO! I tell you crazy stuff like that only happens to me!! If only I can learn to just STFU!

ASK LUSTY!

So, someone thought that I was insightful enough to ask me a question about their relationship. LOL! I deleted his name to protect his identity, as I do not seek to "put people out there." Below is his question to me and then my response.


XXXXXX March 4 at 11:59am

I have a question for you missy????

If you’re in a relationship and you love the dude you’re with and over all are happy, but you feel like you are losing yourself??? How would you diagnose that?



Lusty DonDiva March 4 at 12:58pm

You gotta stop and ask yourself am I really "loosing myself" or am I just growing out of my old ways. It's evident that the only thing that is constant is the evolution of time. So, with that being stated it's only natural that you won't be encompassed with the same friends, motives and operations as you were 5yrs ago. That's perfectly fine. It's also perfectly fine to "CONFORM" to a relationship. I would only hope that you don't act the same way that you did when you were single now that you're in a relationship. So as long as you're happy and it works for YOU then it might have been the best thing for you to start "losing yourself." Now on the other hand if you feel uncomfortable with your situation and you feel like you are just living out the daily actions of what your partner wants then that might not be the best place for you. If you're really in fact "happy" and the situation is a healthy relationship for you then nothing else would even matter. A good relationship thrives off the acceptance of one’s flaws, loving the imperfections and allowing one to be whoever they are. :-)

-Lusty

"OMG It's sooo BIG!!"

Ok, So if you know anything about me, you know the most RANDOM and Awkward things ALWAYS happen to me. This is something so embarrassing that happened to me at work...

No shyt there I was, sitting at my desk working diligently when I got an instant message from my "work spouse" ::PAUSE:: (For clarification, my work spouse is just a friend that started working the same day I did. We always go to lunch together and we look out for each other. However, despite what people may think there is NO romantic relationship between us, he just goes to get my work supplies...LOL) :::UnPause:: I get an instant message from him saying "FCK I spilled BBQ sauce on my khakis, it's in the crotch area and I have to greet clients in 1hr, do you have a Shout wipes?" So I reply "yes, I'll bring it up to you." So he replies "Meet in the back hallway by the elevators."

Now mind you "Work Spouse" is dating this chick here who doesn't like me because she swears something is going between us and rags on him ALLLLLLL the time about me. Well I mean rightfully so, I wouldn't trust my man around such a pretty girl like myself either!(insert cocky statement here) LOL! Just joking!

So anyway I'm walking down the back hall thinking to myself why would he want me to come back here. This is the hall where they escort all our "important clients" into the building so it's like nobody ever goes back there. I see him hiding behind this counter across from the elevator that is like waist level because I guess he doesn't want anyone to see his pants. Now if you KNOW me, you know that I am ALWAYS animated, LOUD, and dramatic so imagine how I react to this.....

I step around the counter, bend my head down, astonished by how big the stain is I say "OMG IT'S SOOO BIG!!!" Right as I say that the doors to the elevator open up and standing in the shaft are his clients escorted by the chick he is dating!!! He grabbed me by the arm swoops me up so fast that he dang on near broke my arm. I turned and looked towards the elevator and I am MORTIFIED! LMAO!!!!!!
Can we say aawwwwwkwaaaaard!
-Lusty

Jay-Z - Song Cry - My Musical Mood this week

SET YOUR PRIORITIES

Set your priorities. Before you can use your potential energy, you have to decide what you're going to do with it. And making any choice, you face a monstrous fact: to move in one direction, you must forgo all others. To choose one goal is to forsake a very large number of other possible goals. A friend of mine, twenty-nine and still looking for a cause, a purpose in life, said, "Our generation has been raised on the idea of keeping your options open. But if you keep all your options open, you can't do a damned thing." It's a problem: How can any one option, any one goal, match up to the possibilities contained in all others? -George Leonard

Contingency vs Consistency

A wise man once said "we spend our lives stretched on an iron rack of contingencies." As I sit back and ponder the message being conveyed I take the time to look at the people around me. Through my observation of those within my inner circle as well as those two steps out within the periphery of my life I am undoubtedly cognizant of the author's point of view.

The systematic teachings of society where we are taught that based on the laws of Physics for every action there is a reaction seems to confuse our basic instinct--or shall I say your intuition, if you will. So basically the way this works is if you go to school and you get good grades you'll grow to be the up-standing adult with a great job....right? Hmmm, if life were only that easy. Now by no means am I downplaying school--as a college graduate myself, I am highly supportive of education, and this is just a mere example one of the contingencies chained to our lives. Ironically, we treat our relationships in the same manner. We tend to make decisions that are contingent on the actions of our mate, FIRST, rather than just trusting our basic instinct. Just think, how many times have you said to yourself "depending on how this goes, this will determine whether we will still be together"...HaHa, I KNOW I HAVE!!! Or you say "well she did hold me down so I guess I kinda owe her."

These are only a couple of the contingencies we hold ourselves hostage to, when in fact subconsciously you've already decided in your head that you deserve better than what your mate is willing to give. It's wiser to trust your instinct and eliminate all the "if only" terms and conditions you've set into place. Rather than basing the fate of your relationship on contingencies focus more on the CONSISTENCY in your partner. Remember the only thing constant is the "essence of time" so if you have some to waste then by all means be my guest but just be mindful that time is something you can never get back. I often tell myself "the worst investment you can ever make is into people who don't appreciate the character of who you are." Stay true to yourself because in the end the option to be treated as "optional" contingent upon another is all yours!

-Lusty

Baby Bait

It's the year 2010, and one would think that the age-old "parent trap" method of keeping a mate would have subsided by now. However, unfortunately it hasn't and I don't know what upsets me more--the women who try to trap a dude by getting pregnant or the dudes that allow themselves to become entrapped into the situation. It baffles me that rather than just taking that extra 2 seconds to "strap-up" you much rather trade 18 years of situational distress, all in the name of 15 minutes of ecstasy. So lets address this on two levels...

Ladies, ladies, ladies when will you silly little rabbits learn that tricks are for kids and just because you have a kid doesn't mean you automatically have a man by default. I have friends who often say things like "I'm his baby mother and I will always be where home is"--I agree totally, you will always be HOME, with your child while he's out doing him. Although having a baby does change your life it doesn't change the "person", like Jay Z says "No matter where you go, you are what you are player and you can try to change, but that's just the top layer." The idea of having a "family" and always having some type of connection to this person seemed thrilling at the time but you forgot about the fact that there was a reason why you had to trap him in the first place. Ummm, could it be that he didn't really want to be with you? You thought it would make him stay home? Or better yet maybe it was putting the stamp on that "meal ticket." Whatever it was your desperation kicked in and now you have a baby by a man that is still the same man he was before the baby came. Now more than ever his true colors are glaring and poor little you there's nothing you can do. You, who once was the "trapper" have now turned into the "trappee" and now things really heat up.

Now my fellas, smh still unable to figure out the "woman" you are ignorant to the fact that you've been baited. Being a man thinking with the wrong head you forgot all about the talks that you've had about how you would "never leave your seed" or you forgot about how she praised you on how well you take care of your son. Trust and believe me when I tell you she didn't and she used one of the most irresistable forms of temptation to lead you right where she wanted you. So now instead of just wearing the latex you get the "I'm late" text. Feeling like you have no other options you try to make a home-life with this person whom you were never really interested in from the start. You're forced to try and make it work for the sake of your child but indirectly end up making it worse. You see you can only compromise your happiness but for so long before your body will naturally seek to satisfy it's quest for that divine right. So then it begins, you're staying out late, you start cheating, you seek to find that same happiness you felt in previous relationships you let go when all of this started. You can't build a happy home on an unhappy life and your child will soon realize that although mommy and daddy are both here they're not in the same place.

-Lusty

Proof BEFORE Purchase

Let me take you into the world of Lusty where anything is bound to happen...this is rather old but nonetheless interesting....

26/Aug/2009

Today I had dinner at McCormick and Schimdt with XXXXXXXX at the Nat'l Harbor. I'm not sure as to how I feel about the outcome of the conversation. There wasn't much expectation going into it so in turn, not much was taken from it. My opinion about it hasn't been swayed either way to say the least, in fact I'm even more confused now coming out of it than I was prior to me entering. So here is my assessment of it all...

Commitment is such a scary word to men when dealing with me. Their insecurity drives their thought process into a state of disbelief that a woman such as me can be faithful. He says it's because I'm "too popular" and I have "too many dudes" (male friends)....Ummm, newsflash sweetie, am I not single? Do I not have the same divine right of happiness? Since when did attractive=cheater and popular=untrustworthy? Ahh and so we enter the world of insecurity where your dreams become countered by threats of your mind playing tricks on you. Everyone wants a "bad chick" but not everyone can handle the notoriety of what comes with a "bad chick." Just because you're friends with a male does NOT/NOT mean you're fck'n, yet the pride of a man seems to always circumvent any truth in that statement. Men will avoid being "hurt" at all cost and protecting their "reputation" is equally as important, so the idea of feeling like their in competition with any other man is certainly out of the question.

I would like to think that as an adult while you're single that you have the liberty of having as many male friends as you so choose to have--but hey maybe I'm wrong. *shrugs* I especially take into consideration the fact that we as females almost always give some indication of the willingness to settle down and enter into a relationship. However, that doesn't seem to be good enough this day in time--guys want the fruit of the harvest before bearing the labor. They want a female to play "wifey" before she is crowned "wifey."

So now you are placed in a on-going game of "proof BEFORE purchase" where you're subconsciously forced to prove that you're "worthy" enough to be his lady. Yet already comfortable in his ways what reason does he have to change now? Why should he make you his girl when he doesn't have to? The ball is in his hands and he has home-court advantage because he's coerced you into going against your initial statement of "you can't have your cake and eat it too." Oh, but on the contrary he does have his cake and not only is he enjoying yours but he's also enjoying the cake of whomever else bakery he so chooses to eat from. Let's not forget there is NO commitment so "technically" there is no cheating involved. So now he's granted that protection of not looking like the "sucka" in front of his boys in the event that your name should come up in relation to another male--who still might ONLY be a platonic friend. Yet unfortunately, he still gets the satisfaction of being able to say you are his "joint" meaning off-limits, whenever it's convenient....of course.

-Lusty

Facebook Fakers

I'm back for a minute but trust I'll be gone again. Just too much BS from all these so-called "friends."

Too many fake pages, too many lies. This shyt is turning into Myspace which is something I despise.

I still do me though, in spite of it all. I guess that's why I get fake friend requests from these petty little broads.

They go all out thinking I'm easily fooled, but baby-girl do your research on me first cuz this is what I do.

I'm one step ahead of you, which means you're two steps back. No matter how many pages you create, you can't distort the facts.

The facts are the details, something you should pay close attention to. How every friend we got in common alum from Largo and your info say you didn't even go to that school?

Or better yet how you only got 20 friends, talkin bout you just got on-line. C'mon son even my momma got FB and this shyt ain't just get hot in 2009.

Ha-Ha, I gave you two hints so now you can start over and show improve. But you really fck'd up when u created a page with stolen pics from a dude I used to talk to!

Shame on you, you're a rookie at this, please stop while you're ahead. It's too easy for me to figure out who you are but the level of effort is not even in me so that's beyond dead.

Although flattered by your persistence I promise you I'm not that interesting. Ok so I got a little Louis, cop a little Gucci and got the boys going crazy over that thing.

Ha-Ha, I joke...I kid...just thought I'd give you a laugh. I'm sure you're the first person to even read this blog with your nosy stalking a$$!

-Lusty