The Mistress

Today for the first time in a while I felt like I actually had the upper hand in this tangled web of a relationship that I’m all caught up in. I rolled the dice of life, plucked my “chance-card” and it revealed to me a choice. It gave the option to collect my $200 dollars and pass “GO” without looking back on regrets or the option to place my house firmly on the yellow pavement of “Marven Gardens.” Unfortunately, I’m still no owner of this property and although I’m able to strategically set up house there, I’m just the mortgagor borrowing this piece of property for the duration of the game. It still seems to baffle me how easily my love life can be paralleled to a game of Monopoly.

Gucci bags, Loui shoes, Vicki Sets, and other lavish gifts are a common accent to this lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed to. He takes care of me and makes sure I have the latest and the greatest. Private Chefs on Sundays just to say we had a home cooked meal are the bear minimums of the things provided. Five star hotels become a necessity while a wedding ring when we’re away on trips becomes his nonexistent accessory. He constantly looks me in my eyes and tells me “So long as you’re here you can have anything you want.” Yet somehow those words seem so foreign to me as I revert back to my monopolized life where although he pays me every time he lands on Marven Gardens, I had to pay “HER” for this slot. She is the owner of this property and as easily as it is for him to pay a monetary restitution for his part played in all of this, I was forced to pay with my heart and my feelings. I’m forced to give those up because despite the fact that he tells me that I am his “wifey” while he’s with me, I have to remember that she is the one who wears the diamond ring while I was forced to settle on a diamond bracelet.

So those words “You can have anything you want” become null and void to me because what I really want is what has already been given to someone else. My life consists of trips and gifts with occasional visits in passing while hers is adorned with your presence every night. Should I feel bad for her if she already knows about me yet still continues to stay? Or better yet, why can’t she feel sorry for me because I’m the one left to make a decision of whether or not to keep playing house with additions to the household?

Love-child is such an awkward title and it’s probably more deserving of the label lust-child which is a better description of its conception. So here is my choice card all bundled-up inside of me like a brief case waiting to be opened on Deal or No Deal. He lays my options before me like a negotiator in a bank heist. I can have whatever I like of course has now turned into “I’m not leaving my wife.” Those few words spoken out of his mouth are enough to make me have this baby standing right here. So let me get this straight, my baby becomes a monthly “household bill” that’s written off at the end of the year? Oh and I guess birthdays and holidays are special occasions where you show up and play daddy for a day?

Although hurt, I can’t be mad because in my selfishness I contributed just as much to this infidelity as he did. I am the mistress, which broken down can only be attributed to (Mi-Stress). Yes, my stress that I caused on myself for an escalation in revenue.Had I looked beyond the glitz and glamour of my enhanced lifestyle maybe I would have been able to see the signs that were given. I would’ve been able to comprehend that what once started out as a game of Monopoly where capital is key had overtime distorted to a thin reality. That reality is in the confession of truth and the truth about it all is--no matter how much money is given, the mistress will soon one day want to be called the Mrs.

-Lusty

Friends WITHOUT Benefits???

Last week I was thoroughly entertained by the conversation which took place on the status of one of my FB friends. The question posed to FB was “How do you feel about your partner being best friends with an ex partner? It doesn’t matter if it was last year or five years ago, are you still cool with them being friends?”
With over 100 comments let’s just say this topic may have hit a couple of nerves. It even got to the point where folks were being labeled as “jump-offs” and “side-joints.” So here is what I have to say about it…
First and foremost, I DO believe that time plays somewhat of a significant factor in this situation, so already I see flaws in the question. The reason why I believe it matters is because I am NOT the same person at 26 that I was when I was 16. At 16, I was an adolescent still in the process of learning myself while trying to grasp onto the facts of life. My relationship at 16 which lasted until I was 18, didn’t resonate the same effects on me like those relationships that took/take place in my life now that I am a woman. I am more than certain that you are not the same person that you were as an adolescent now that you have reached adulthood.( Although people may still act immature in some ways never wanting to grow up it kind of reveals that catch 22 cliche’ if you will.) My point being is what was once intriguing to you 10yrs ago as an adolescent more than likely is not equally as intriguing to you as an adult. So me being friends with an ex from high school is probably the least of my man’s worries. (this brings me to an interesting question: What relationships “count?” but we’ll discuss that later)
As I always say everything is situational and it’s all in the way you present and/or address the situation. So if you’ve dated someone back in HS but now you are friends but they feel the need to come “side-ways” at your partner then that friendship needs to be reevaluated. It’s important to be mindful that everyone doesn’t always have the same intentions as you, and your genuinely expressed friendship isn’t always mirrored by that so-called BFF. Just like it is often reiterated to females that guys are always willing to take it to the next level despite a platonic friendship-- they are just waiting for the opportunity. Well NEWSFLASH people that’s humanistic nature and females do the same but it’s up to you to divert, diffuse, or dismiss the situation altogether. I don’t mind my man having a female best friend so long as she knows her place as a girl friend and not the girlfriend. However, once again it’s up to my partner to address the situation accordingly and if I made a commitment to him then that says I trust him enough to do so. Now if I see that it is not being properly handled than in that particular situation I may say I don’t trust this whole idea of “we’re just friends” and be up out!
It all goes back to the trust factor, if you can’t trust your partner enough to have a friendly relationship with someone that they’ve been with in the past then in essence you don’t trust them at all. On the other hand your partner should respect your relationship enough not to push the envelope to the point where it makes you uncomfortable. Late night calls are a…NO, random pop up visits are…Obsolete, and buying expensive gifts are…inappropriate. It’s a give and take relationship and all parties must know their role and play their position.

-Lusty

Musical Mood this week- Jay-Z Soon You'll Understand

Quote of the day

A wise man told me don't argue with fools
Cause people from a distance can't tell who is who
So stop with that childish shyt, ni**a I'm grown
Please leave it alone - don't throw rocks at the throne
Do not bark up that tree, that tree will fall on you
I don't know why your advisers ain't forewarn you.
-Jay Z

My Musical Mood This Week

"Let me tell you what I HEARD"

I don’t know what upsets me more, people who maliciously lie on others for personal gain or the “ignorant” who accept it as truth before first exploring the facts. Either way I despise liars and condemn the fools who partake in the slanderous gossip. This is nothing new to my life and I am more than familiar with the green eyes of the less desirable and trust me that green is NOT from eating vegetables as E. Badu would say. Nonetheless, through the years as I matured I was under the impression that such foolery would subside. On the contrary, to my surprise as I got older the only thing that seemed to mature was the extent of the foolishness. The irony of it all is the fact that when people repeat lies or spread gossip it’s always prefaced with one of two disclaimers……YOU KNOW IT THE INFAMOUS... “I HEARD…” or “Such and such (<-insert random name) said…”

Out of all my years in existence I have NEVER been approached with someone saying “I saw you….” People are always talking about what they’ve “heard”--so tell me, is this the new found validation of fact? Do you have to hear it from another person for it to be a fact of truth? If that’s the case if I walk into the woods and I see a tree split from its roots laying over on its side, but no one was around to hear it fall, am I inclined to believe that this tree in fact never fell at all? (HaHa! Let me slow down I’m giving yal too much to think about)

How about you start going straight to the source and just ask because if you pay attention the TRUTH in the LIES will be glaring. When you think about it, funny thing is no one ever wants to be held accountable for what they’ve said and always defaults to “don’t tell him/her I told you this but…” I believe if you come to me with a so-called “fact” I should be able to quote you on that, right? #Imjustsaying LOL!
-Lusty

“spend a whole day "he" hangin round with part time haters
all they do is diss dirt and put a up on my latest
itinerary, but since I tend to vary see
I tend to carry, more rumors than ten Mariah Careys” -Hov

Musical Mood This week

The Realist Shyt I Ever Wrote

This is the second night that the Grim Reaper of death has paid me a daunting visit. The old folks used to say "all disheartening things come in threes" so I guess the next time he appears will be the night I take my last breath. It was different this time though, unlike the first time where I was haunted with visions of all the loved ones I've ever lost. Although as equally uncomfortable, my body was calm--no shakes, no shivers just an impassive spirit waiting for what was next. I knew why he was there and as I stared into the eyes of death I could see my past was finding its way into my present.

Still unshaken by the presence of death which stood before me, the flashbacks which traveled through my mind surfaced that very same lost soul that was searching for love and acceptance. Thinking back on the road I chose to riches, chasing name brands, sitting court side, poppin bottles with the elite, and riding high never passenger side cuz in the Maybach you always hide behind the curtains of the backseat. I followed the brick road, but this ain't no movie and the brick road ain't yellow and when dealing with these white bricks a brain, heart and courage is nothing you can just acquire along the way.

In this game you're either a seller or a buyer...runner or supplier, and the only float you have is the product of your own environment. I was the seller and I sold my soul for a round trip ticket, MGM night, Grand fight, and 20 stacks just to sit across from the Boss. I was a gift...with undeniable beauty he confidently slid me the keys knowing riding high across state lines with a “Loui V” duffel would be carried with ease. But nervousness set in as I looked into the eyes of the innocent, naive to the part she had just played in all of this. But like I said this ain't no movie so instead of a character she's now the "accessory"--a subordinate or supplementary part, object, used mainly for convenience, attractiveness, and safety. What more can I say for myself when I'm just making selfish moves in my quest to eat? Confused, knowing in the back of my mind this is wrong there's no forgiveness in this shyt, no repenting, just move swift or retreat.

My conscious was fcking with me and although the “allure of the game kept calling my name” I knew it was only a matter of time before my struggle between right and wrong would detonate. The reality of the situation was I was ready to finally live a normal life free of all the notoriety and crowned street glory. I thought if I settled down it would bring some peace and serenity to my life, so I went with what I knew best and traveled back to love. Never taking the time to think twice about why love was lost in the first place I took 6Gs grabbed love and traveled on a trip overseas with the same love that would one day marry me. It was on that very trip where I found that not only was love lost but love was never there at all. “The same things that will make you laugh will make you cry and the same things that will make you tell the truth will be the same things that will make you tell a lie.” Such is luck and that's life and since they say life's a bytch, I never stood a chance in the first place.

This ain't no life to live, surrounded by the fake and fraudulent serpents disguised as friends, kick stand rolling straight through shooters, shooting Patron shots while side fckin your man. I have nothing else in this world but the solitude brought to me when I sold my soul for dough. So in essence I am already dead and my golden bronze shell is a soulless cover to an empty spirit. They say "some things money can't buy, like heaven in the sky" so I said to the grim reaper who stood before...take me now, I'm ready to die.

-Lusty (sneak preview)

*Blank Stare* Comment of the Day!

So I'm walking down the street and this guy stops me and says this...

Random Guy: "Damn girl are you ovulating, because I know we would have a pretty baby."

Me: *Blank Stare*

Musical Mood this week! "who goin say something?" LOL!

"I'll trade you my happiness for a white Range Rover and a Gucci Bag"

A couple of days ago I was having a discussion with my girlfriends about the highly controversial show “Basketball Wives.” I sat back for a while and allowed the flow of the conversation to take its course attentively listening to everyone’s critiques and criticism of what they had viewed on the show. The conversation carried on for about 20 minutes as they bashed these women about how they are “so stupid” and “they’re not even wives” and “they’re all just gold diggers.” Unmoved by any of the things being stated I sat quietly until one particular comment was voiced…”I mean they are professional basketball players do they really expect for them to be faithful?”

That one statement alone sent me over the top as I thought about how society has brain-washed everyone into thinking that because you hold a certain status or title you are exempt from being a conscientious person who reaps the adverse circumstances of careless decisions. So let me get this straight, because you play a professional sport this means you get a pass from God which states you don’t have to be faithful, regardless of the fact that you took an oath in your marital vows stating that you would in fact be faithful and “forsake all others?” That’s the biggest bunch of foolery I’ve ever heard in my life!

So I asked my friend, hypothetically, “Why should I expect for my husband to cheat on me just because he plays ball?” Her response was “Because he has a lot of money, travels a lot, and basically can have any woman he wants.” Well in that case if he can have any woman he wants and he chose me, would’t that translate into me being equally capable of having any man I want? So why is it that I’m EXPECTED to hold true to my vows but he’s not? This question continues to baffles me as I notice how society accepts the infidelity of men solely based on status and capital. If that is the case then we might as well throw CEOs, politicians, all entertainers, producers, overseas contractors, investors, and successful business owners on the “fidelity exemption list” as well.

Do I believe that gold diggers exist? Yes. Do I believe that all females that date athletes are gold diggers? No. Although having a slightly biased opinion based on the fact that living in the DMV and meeting a professional athlete is just like meeting the local hood-rich “dope boy”—just go to the club—I’m not convinced that ALL women that date professional athletes are gold diggers. However, just as we are all human whether man or woman, once you are introduced into a certain “higher class” lifestyle it’s hard to break free from it. This is what I see in Jennifer (the only one on the show that is still married) who claims that she has had constant issues with her husband’s infidelity. In my eyes that is a for sure deal breaker! I don’t care how good the “good-life” is, if you can’t respect me and our marriage enough to exemplify some self-control then I am OUT! Staying in a situation where you KNOW your husband is not being monogamous only adds to risk you’re putting yourself at. Sometimes you have to decide what’s more important to you—happiness and peace of mind or a white Range Rover and Gucci purse.
-Lusty

The Fellaz present "The All White Experience

Summer is FINALLY here and what a better way to kick off the summer than to attend the highly anticipated summer event hosted by The Fellaz? This year The Fellaz are stepping it up from their usual star-studded cookout/pool party by bringing us an all-white affair hosted by the DMV's own DJ QuickSilva. Trust me, just like any other event The Fellaz host, this will be one that you won't want to miss! "The All White Experience" goes down on Saturday, June 19, 2010 from 10pm-3am, please contact one of the fellaz for ticket purchases. See ya there!

Rick Ross ft. Ne-Yo - Super High- Lusty's Pick for summer hit